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Originally written 19th October 2023.

I’ve always known that somewhere within me I am a perfectionist – no matter how many times or often I have denied it. In that denial, I am cheating myself out of an opportunity. An opportunity to complete something and bask in the reward of that potential success.

Instead, I am currently realising I am surrounded with nearly finished projects (and there are a lot of them) purely because the perfectionist in me did not want to share until it is complete = in my mind perfect.

The truth of many of these projects is, they are already complete and to an outsider completely unaware of my inhibiting perfectionism would wonder why I was holding such a good thing back.

A question was proposed to me by a peer coach, “is being a perfectionist holding you back from success and where you want to be?”.

It felt like such an uncomfortable question to answer, because the truth of it is, I am.

I am creating a limit, an unachievable expectation for myself. I am straight up from the beginning, setting the intent that whatever I set my mind to is realistically never going to be completed.

You could delve deeper into the why of that thought, yet that is a conversation for another time. I feel like even acknowledging that has been the process of my thoughts is a bigger breakthrough. To shift my focus to complete a task, rather than concerning myself on the outcome. Regardless of an outcome, the importance is on the lessors learnt in the journey.

This reasoning also brought me to a thought I had heard in another conversation, “we are conditioned to fight for our limitations”. Referring to the fact that we are rarely offered the opportunity to completely dream without limitation.

We’re often suggested that “the sky’s the limit” – that saying it itself suggests you can only go so high in your ambitions – not even contemplating that there could be something beyond. But we are also encouraged to be prepared.

That any venture without adequate planning and preparation is likely to fail or only go so far. Consideration for any unknown variable is removed from the equations.

It is from this thought belief and conditioning that I am working towards unbinding. An encouragement to surrender to whatever the moment presents and rather than acting accordingly, or to a limited ideal, it is to fully give in and experience – to participate.

Without holding perfectionist limitation. For the majority of conditioned beings experiencing life today – they will make a held judgement within the first 10 seconds, there is no thought to ‘is it finished / unfinished?’ or even room to be aware of the thought – those judgements come through completely unfiltered.

It’s considering that now – why am I so bent on trying to hold sway in those 10 seconds? It’s knowing that – it either resonates, or it doesn’t. To those that it does – they are my people.

They are the ones that will still be paying attention regardless of the level of perfectionism involved. When frequencies are matched – that is all the perfectionism that is required.

How does perfectionism resonate and manifest within you? And what are you willing to do to pivot from those thoughts?

Peace, Sharai x

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