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leaving it all behind.

It’s hard sometimes to determine any particular life event that changed my perception of being and my thoughts on are we more than our existence here on this earth. I think it’s a combination of a whole lot of different things and events that create junctures and obstacles that change our intended direction.

There was a time back in 2012, where I can look back and know that I whole heartedly surrendered to the will of the universe. I don’t think I knew it at the time, but there was definitely a sense that there was something bigger waiting for me, the universe had a plan for me.

I was faced with weeks of chaotic life experiences, working three jobs (by choice! And one was only a temp job) and trying to make sense of all the emotional discomfort going on. Rather than try and gather it all and control it, I just threw it all to the air and surrendered. What was going to happen would happen, so why force it.

During this time, when I did get a moment to pause, I followed what my gut was trying to tell me.

Follow the sunshine. I’m not sure what that meant, but I took the advice.

So intuitively I reached out to businesses in an industry I hadn’t worked in for 4+ years, sending emails enquiring as to whether there were any positions available and that I was considering an interstate move. One of them got back to me within the week of receiving my resume, I had a follow up phone interview, and then we talked about a face to face one. The timing couldn’t have all been more perfect. My temp jobs were complete, and I had a couple of weeks leave from my 9-5 to recover and find myself again. I used my leave to travel and visit an old school friend and, in the process, make use of the opportunity for a face to face interview. Before my holiday was up, I was offered the job.

It was all kind of a surreal moment in time.

Without conversation with anyone about my intentions, I had followed my heart and gone through the motions of packing up my life, a place I had lived since birth and completely relocated it all.

Within the month of the job offer, I gave my notice and started preparing to pack up my life. The events that followed were pure synchronicities.

I had surrenders and I could see the opportunities the universe was offering.

I found amazing humans to house share with, we found a place, a street back from the beach (AMAZING!) and my coffee obsession from our collection of local cafes began.

Looking back now, I can see the courage it would have taken some people to make a move like this. At the time, I didn’t give it a second thought. It felt right, it felt the right thing to do. And I am so glad I did.

I will admit that leaving all the familiar things behind was a challenge. It was extremely lonely. And I’m sure there were many a night of me thinking “had I made the right decision?” and crying myself to sleep, yet all of it allowed (or forced) me to take the time for myself. To work through my emotions, heal on one level or another. To look back and recognise how badly I had handled some situations and hoped for an opportunity to do it better the next time.

I can see now that I did in a sense run away from home. My environment was constrictive, oppressive, and toxic. There were great and happy times all amongst that, and those memories I treasure. However, there wasn’t room to grow or to expand on opening my mind, and it wasn’t until I removed myself from the environment that I realised how much healing of mind, body and soul I needed to do.

Leaving everything you know behind is by all means, no easy thing to do. Yet so completely worth it. Without it, I wouldn’t have had all the opportunities to meet new and different people who questioned so much of who I thought I was. It cracked me open. Opening my heart to allow a little more of my own authentic light to shine forth.

This post is about sharing a little bit of how I got to where I am now.

It was scary, lonely, depressing, but through all of that, I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Have faith in your inner voice.

It knows what’s best for your growth, even if it takes you to the rock bottom depths of your soul, your soul knows what it needs to do to become it’s unforgiving self.

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