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High Energy Holiday Season Emotions

The end of year holiday season is always a bag of mixed emotions for our household.


Society and our institutions have placed an unnecessarily high value on the consumerism of it all. From the beginning of the Black Friday sales to the Boxing Day, New Year sales. There’s this immense pressure to spend and live our lives in such high energy to the point we become so burnt out from it all that we need another holiday just to recover from the holiday season. 😆


It is a perfect time of year, for those who have been separated from each other to come together and celebrate – but we often lose sight of the deep emotions of what it is to be connected to those we love.


It can easily become competition of who has achieved the most in the last year, what materialistic possessions we have accumulated or even a competition of who has had the most negative experience of their lives.


We can become so involved in the high emotions; we forget what it truly means to be together. To be in company and resonance with those we love and adore. To feel the elating vibrations of lifting each other up in the celebration of being here, being present and having the opportunity to experience life.


Over the last few years, at home we have dialled down our celebrations and kept it small. Almost a hibernation and energy renewal.


As both myself and my husband navigate the changes and growth in our relationship, we become more aware of our triggers around the holiday period and the need to heal. Discovering all the things that do take time.


We have a blended family, my husband has a son from a previous marriage, whom I have known for more than half of his life. Yet, each Christmas holidays, it doesn’t get easier. Yet another repressed trauma rears its head, and we are compelled to messily navigate it with high functioning nervous systems.


Unfortunately, my hubby experienced a significant emotional trauma at Christmas many years ago. He subconsciously knew things with his previous marriage were amiss, but was left clueless to the extent, and it completely feel a part at Christmas. This event completely tore his heart apart as he was forced to separate from his young son and spend that time alone and unsupported.


This has played out over the years as a mistrust for misunderstandings, and a significant fear of abandonment from those he cherishes.


Myself, in my late teens, I lost someone very close to me in the weeks leading up to Christmas. It was shattering and ultimately heartbreaking. I found myself in a place so alone I didn’t know what to do, that I numbed out. I blocked out all the good things we are supposed to experience at this time of year and that emotional response has been with me for more than 10+ years. For me, unfortunately I was surrounded by family who already had their own unresolved traumas, that they were unable to help me – this was where my own response was learnt.


It was encouraged to just bury deep that which hurts and pretend that it never happened.


I didn’t realise it until this past year, that the strain on my health and the cause of my overactive nervous system is this trapped emotional, ancestral, and generational trauma.

That I haven’t allowed my body to process the emotions. To cry it out, to let my body feel and experience what it is to hurt and to allow it to strengthen my resolve.


As much as I feel some shame and embarrassment around sharing, because I feel what I should be sharing is all the warm fuzzy, fluffy stuff. But being with my husband has been the biggest emotional rollercoaster of my life. I have never been involved with someone that has made me cry so much in my life. However, I don’t hold any resentment or accountability to him for that. I am thankful. It has challenged me emotionally, given me the opportunity to process and move stuck emotions from my body. To question why certain things have triggered me and why I allowed myself to be triggered and respond with the conflict I did.


This conflict and cycles we travel have given us the freedom to communicate openly and build a stronger understanding of each other’s life experiences from alternative perspectives.


In the previous years, we used to use this time of year to drink excessively, to remove ourselves from processing what has been rising inside of us and numb out from the reminders that caused us each deep pain.


As we have grown together and helped each other heal, we have successfully removed some of these patterns of numbing out. The both of us are more than one year sober from alcohol. To the point, even thinking of having more than a couple in celebration makes us feel nauseous.


Which is huge for us, as before we met each other, we both had our own reputations to go hard. These times are still entertaining to reflect on as they did provide some great moments in our lives as well as some great life lessons. And I’m sure our children will get some great laughs out of our unfortunate, drunk antics.


I feel it’s important to share this story and our experience with the holiday season. With today’s pressure to keep up to date with social media and sharing all that is good in our lives. We tend to filter out all that is REAL.


We keep the hard conversations, the breakdowns, the unfortunate circumstances, the messy stuff to ourselves because we fear being judged or shamed by our peers. It is disappointing that we have cultivated a culture of trying to show and share only our ‘best bits’. Admittedly, our family takes this time to have a pause from social media and allow ourselves to be present with our children. To be supportive of what is showing up for them and actively taking part in creating the real memories.


Life is hard. It is designed to be challenging. How can we truly learn without overcoming the obstacle?


When we learn to walk, we fall numerous times. It is just the way of it. New movements and motions take practice.


Newfound awareness and emotions take time and patience to process. Everything starts small, just like a seed. It needs many elements and the right conditions to germinate. Then the same again to develop roots. Then it waits for the right season to breach the soil and start growing towards the sunshine, sometimes pausing to rest and go dormant, preparing its energy for the next cycle of growth.


Finding our way back to ourselves takes time. Letting go of what is holding us back takes courage.


I believe if I wasn’t so persistent with my marriage, myself and our relationship wouldn’t be where it is. We have given each other so many outs. The opportunity to leave it and move on. But we both know, this conflict within us and the emotional baggage we carry will stay with us and show itself again and again in any future friendships, relationships, and situations until we resolve it.


Every holiday period has had its challenges, resulting in both of us being triggered by our own experiences and then triggering each other’s trauma. It is extremely tough in the lead up to this time of year; we almost wish we could avoid it all together. The outside family, social and societal expectations, the financial obligations, and the energetic stress that happens when we integrate.


All of this proves to us, how important it is to build our own energetic boundaries, to sit with the feelings. To lean into the discomfort and focus on the wellbeing of our authentic selves.


When we embrace that which is true to us, we involve ourselves in magic. We see the light in our immediate interactions that the sparks that ignite in those we connect with.


We are on a journey, slow as it might be, to use this holiday season to connect deeper with ourselves. To take time out from our everyday lives and let go of that which no longer energetically serves us. It is a decisive time for us to reflect upon what is truly important to exist in our lives. An opportunity to see where we need to shift, to echo our hearts desires and souls’ intentions and plan accordingly. To be the leaders and inspiration to our children.


To show them, that even when so much can change in the world, you can be humble and authentically you. That we can still be a part of the holiday hype and celebrations and have a place to come back to earth to. That our hearts are the safe container to foster in positive change.


I would love to know, How does the holidays season affect you, if at all? What shows up for you repeatedly and does it ever bring a change in perspective?


Share in the comments.


Thank you for being here and reading along.

Much love,

Sharai Xx

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