top of page

Experiencing a spiritual awakening in a relationship

What happens when you have a spiritual awakening whilst in a relationship?

Many of us have this impression that we cannot have true self growth unless we are alone and unattached. That we must experience some form of suffering, so we can know what it is like to come out of the other side.

The truth of it is, it honestly does not matter what is going on in our outer world for our inner world to change. The outer will no doubt be of significant influence, but it is not the everything or catalyst for it all.

In my own experience, my involvement in relationships have been the outer world catalyst for my own spiritual growth. It has been the drive to really look within a matter and ask myself the difficult questions. Questions like, is my reaction to this situation the cause of our disharmony? How can I change my own energy and perception to result in a different outcome. Although, a lot of these reflections did not come until well after the relationship had dissolved.

I can look back any of the friendships and relationships that I have had and say to myself, I could have handled that situation so much better. Or that my reaction to something was exaggerated because I felt uncomfortable with the possible realisation that I was the catalyst to the disharmony. I lacked the confidence and accountability to own my behaviour.

Unfortunately, through the influence of our society and our parents’ upbringing, we are encouraged that it is okay to simply give up on meaningful relationships because it’s no longer a vibe.

If I gave up or chose not to lean into the challenging times that is my marriage, I don’t believe I would have had the immeasurable soul growth I’ve had over the last couple of years. There are more times than I can imagine, where it has crossed my mind where I have not felt my worth and that if I did not have the commitment I have, that my worth would be rewarded elsewhere.

It took experiencing that doubt for me to now understand that no person outside of myself can offer my own worth to me. They can no more value me than by the measure I value myself. I’ve learnt it is about energetic mirrors. The reflections of frequency and energy we project and the method of how we interact with our relationships.

Once I realised this was how the energy works, I started testing the theory. I changed my own energy. I started doing the inner work and committed to showing up for myself, with balanced feminine and masculine energy. What I found was it started coming back, I began to value my own worth with confidence.

It has been a slow process. As I have been moving through the motions of healing my own wounds and inner trauma, I have been subconsciously reflecting that it is possible for those I converse and interact with too. Sometimes simply showing up for yourself and proving something is possible is enough to spark a light with someone watching your progress quietly.

Taking ownership for our behaviour in relationships is a challenging task for our ego. For some it may require great effort to be humble, others it may be simple, but once we find the path, it does get easier. It becomes second nature – this is the power of trusting our intuition.

When we are awakening ourselves, and experiencing our spiritual growth, it is important to be reminded that the people we most care about are not always going to be supportive. Nor will they understand, and even their love and care may waver. And that IS okay. Their path is not your path. Theirs may cross or travel parallel to yours, but theirs will never be the exact same. Allow yourself to be open to the opportunity that certain people are meant to be where they are at that moment of time in your life for a greater reason than what you may realise at the time.

Part of our awakening is to create ripples, that eventually turn into waves and even tsunamis. It is to shake up the funk, the energy, the vibration that has remained stagnant within us.

But as we experience this awakening, it is also reminder that if you are in committed relationship, that the path you start walking isn’t the excuse to use to give up what you have already built. Relationships grow.

Sure, relationships can grow apart but they can also grow together – if you allow it. I have found, in my previous experience, what I let grow apart and left unresolved, only showed up in the next relationship or friendship. It was the universe’s way of telling me I had an obstacle within myself I had to address.

The more I allow myself to step into my spiritual embodiment, my inner goddess, my sacred feminine, the more I allow balance to resolve itself within my own relationship with my husband. I create the space for him to step into his own enlightenment at his own pace.

It is not a verbal or physical contract, but an energetic one.

I admit, it’s not easy sometimes. A lot of times it is actually quite challenging. We struggle with communication, and we quite quickly reflect each other’s discomforts and troubles, putting the blame of the source of it all on each other. When I can allow myself the time to step outside of our container, I can objectively see that I am pushing my own troubles on him and he feels discomfort from it all and vice versa.

When I can overcome my own ego and fears and show up for him and communicate honestly, the energy settles, and we connect. We are then able to find ourselves in a place where we can talk about the heart of our troubles and realise that we truly did not know or understand what was the cause of the upset. I see this scenario unfold in a lot of relationships and friendships, be one or both parties keep pushing their own troubles and trauma on the other with the expectation that they’re the ones to just know what is going and miraculously resolve the issue without any work or acknowledgement that it has happened. We can lack the gratitude, authentic intent and honesty that everyone deserves.

Understandably, if you are finding yourself in a toxic or unsafe environment, there are times when leaving a friendship or relationship is the right move to make. When you go through the motions, be sure to consider that it is not only one person that encouraged that environment. It takes more than one party to facilitate that frequency. It can be that we’re functioning from trapped emotional bodies, traumatic experiences, lack of personal boundaries, lack of positive influence in the early part of our lives. But also remember that these are not reasons to stay. It is a key responsibility to look after yourself first and once your cup is full, then hold space for others. Hold back your ego to fix the scenario, the only way you can truly is “fix” is to be whole within yourself and shine THAT light towards those that were encouraging you to dim it or smother it all together.

Waking up in our time today has so many hurdles that it feels almost a near impossible feat to accomplish. There are a lot of people and energies out there trying to cash in on the trend and misleading those who are only just opening their eyes. To try and bring them back into the fold of the veil. And finding authentic relationships can be even harder.

What I wanted to share through this post, was my experience as I find myself, as buried deep as she has been. That the more my true, authentic self, starts to come back to the surface, that the meaningful relationship come back too.

You can feel the energy grow, swirl and it feels nurturing.

I appreciate so much the immense soul growth I have had the opportunity to experience through this marriage, with the addition of being a stepparent and becoming a mother of our own children, there has been such a test of identity. A huge test of resolve. If I was experiencing this awakening whilst on my own, I would have jumped and made many leaps, and probably experienced a lot more failure. However, moving through this in a relationship, it has provided me with reason to pause and reflect. To really consider the worth and weight behind the actions and to who it will really benefit. I feel this has given me a value in myself I never really knew I had.

I would love to know, how have you experienced or are you currently experiencing your spiritual awakening? And what gems has it provided you thus far?

Share in the comments.

Love Sharai xx

Cover image from @tarnellisart - be sure to check out her Etsy page.

Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page