Borders + Boundaries

The journey over the last few years has been filled with so many revelations. Ones that have prompted some big mindset shifts and awareness about how much I've been programmed to respond in situations, particularly when it comes to progression and self worth.

I was raised in a time that in order to 'make it' anywhere, we had to sacrifice.

It's a mentality that the generation of boomers experiences, yet the way they then taught it to their children was in a different context that wasn't entirely applicable.

It was tied to success, in almost anything we applied ourselves to; relationships, career, family and peace in our own hearts.

We were encouraged to give up values in lieu of 'getting a foot in the door' only for us to misunderstood and demoralised afterwards.

I look back to some pivotal life choices, and recognise that I was flimsy in my resolve. Tamping down the things that my heart and soul craved to instead place another with mis-aligned values.

Things that were once non-negotiables, became hazy lines that we crossed for the sake of ease and progress. Because a female who advocated and challenged the 'norm' was labelled as challenging and difficult, and wasn't someone who was encourages to succeed very far.

The dissolving of our intuitive nature led to the dissolving of our boundaries and what we were willing to accept. We placed our dreams in boxes and locked them away in the dark places, to be looked at as an unachievable task out of reach.

When we reflect back on those moments I recognise how much I was ill-equipped to handle the hesitancy when I did advocate for myself, feigning embarrassment and then diminishing my voice.

It is honestly no fault of my parentage, but an ancestral one; an unwillingness to chase the option of more for the hearts desires. Accepting that the bare minimum is enough.

In one way the minimum can be, but when that bar is constantly being lowered, what is truly the bare minimum? It should be the moment your cup is full and ready to share the rewards of that fullness. Not the feeling of being grateful that you received a single drop.

I believe the environments we find ourselves in determine whether we grow positively or stay stagnant. If we consistently surround ourselves with mindsets that sacrifice their values to appease, we will find our hearts encouraged to do the same.

Recognising that lapse in borders between you and another, is the beginning to reclaiming your worth; to rebuilding the innate knowledge that you can succeed in anything you apply yourself to without sacrificing your values and the core of who you are.

There are always opportunities that align with your heart, there is no longer the requirement to haze your boundaries just to keep your foot in the door.

It's taking back ownership of our will and worth. An acknowledgement and ode to spirit that as a woman we rule the ability to create. It's our birth right.

Everything we create and manifest came from that maternal space within us. We determine what to nurture.

Nowadays I am a lot firmer in my boundaries; and not explaining why I hold them.

Something that some individuals find confronting, however realistically it's their unconsciousness recognising it's something they themselves lack.

I am inspired by the younger generation, who unequivocally and unapologetically say no. Where as on occasion I am still catching myself over-explaining why I can't do something, or need something, or in a sense asking permission from someone who doesn't even care.

There's no need to fill in the gaps, in the first seven seconds of making a statement, the subconscious has already made a judgement base on the energy and unless the other has an emotional intelligent to identify that and allow further realisation, you're never going to further sway that individuals mind away from that initial thought.

So it's along this journey, I have become less apologetic, firmer in my boundaries and more aware of holding to my values.

It's been a deprogramming of years of learned behaviours and responses, ensuring that I am inserting myself in safe, positive and impactful environments.

Not only that, it's coming to terms that I need to surrender to the flow of things and accept that it is okay that if the idea doesn't go to plan.

It's a long lesson in going with the flow and knowing that it's okay to pivot and let go.

Each year, we grow into another evolution of ourselves, where the picture we created in our dreams affirms itself into the crisp details our souls are deserving of.

Peace and light for staying with me on this one. Rai x

Small magics grow everywhere.

REFLECTION: Where have you let go of borders and boundaries for the gain of someone else?

How did it make you feel and where are you willing to change so it doesn't repeat itself?